Happy World Zombie Day!
Lend me an ear, and your braaaaaaaaaaaaaains, for a fun excerpt from THE PIRATE CURSE. In this excerpt, Yuki's dreams are being invaded by, you guessed it, ZOMBIES!
It wasn’t long before my dreams were invaded by zombies. Alien birds just aren’t all that interesting.
These were total Romero zombies, lurching along in search of tasty brains. I avoided the shambling walk of the nearest zombie and searched for a weapon. Right on cue, a shovel materialized, but not in my hand. The potential weapon was up the street, leaning against a coal shed. This would have been awesome except for the half dozen zombies hanging out by the shed moaning “braaains, braaains” like a broken record.
This dream was giving me two options. I could attempt to run past the zombies and grab the shovel or forget arming myself and run in the opposite direction like flying monkeys were hot on my tail—flying zombie monkeys.
I hesitated, unsure of what to do, and that’s when things got weird. Well, weirder. This dream was already up there on the bizarro scale. The zombies were surrounded by feathers, I assume from grazing on the local bird population, but there were no longer any living plovers in sight. Apparently, zombies have a mega big appetite.
After consuming all the tiny bird brains, the zombies turned to larger prey. This zombie town that had appeared on an empty alien world was suddenly filled with screaming humans. Don’t ask me how. I’m guessing dream logic is pretty flimsy.
All around me zombies grabbed at the humans, trying to munch their brains. But none of the zombies came toward me, which kind of ticked me off. I mean, here I was standing in front of them with a perfectly tasty brain and nobody wanted to eat me. I glowered at the zombies and the humans. It was like high school all over again. It just didn’t seem fair.
I stomped over toward the shed, ready to work out my frustrations with the shovel, but was stopped by a tap on my shoulder. A zombie was standing behind me, decaying eyebrow raised, holding a cracker topped with a dollop of brain.
“Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?” he asked.
I put my hands on my hips and narrowed my eyes.
“No, I don’t have any Grey Poupon,” I said. “I’m fresh out of condiments, but I do have a question. What is so wrong with me? I mean, not that I really want you to or anything, but why don't you want to eat my brain?”
He opened his mouth to answer, but I never learned what the zombie was going to say. He wobbled, trying to catch his balance, as the ground at his feet churned. A huge beetle burst up through the earth, raining soil on our heads.
The zombies and the humans scattered, leaving me with a seven foot tall dung beetle.
“Why would I want to eat your brain, child?” she said.
"Um, never mind," I said. "Bad dream."
"Dreams hold knowledge, little one, they are never bad," she said.
"Okay, right, I'll keep that in mind," I said. I sighed, wondering what my dung beetle spirit guide could possibly want. "So, um, what are you doing here in my dream? Wait. Is Cal okay?"
"Do not worry, child," she said. "Your wolf is safe. This is about you.”
I let out a shaky breath. Cal was safe; there was nothing to worry about.
“So, um, is this about the zombie dream,” I asked. “Because honestly, I could use some dream interpretation on that one.”
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